Home Blog 7 steps to a 10/10 Tinder date

7 simple steps to success on your Tinder date

Door: Dan de Ram     In:     Geplaatst: 03-01-2017

Youtube celebrity dedicated to help men get the love live they deserve, through authentic dating advice.


Tinder date trouble

Use this plan to evolve from Tinder Trooper to Tinder Chicks Master

In this article I will teach you my 7 steps to an overdose of sexy times on dates 

OR

the perfect first date with your future girlfriend

I'm going for option one, but it is all up to you my friend!

Table of contents:

Wassup bro, 

If you applied all my tips and tricks from other blogs, I know one thing for sure: 

You will have a lot of dates..

Unfortunately, this doesn’t automatically imply that your sex-life is booming. I’ve met loads of students who regularly went on dates, but whose right hand was the one responsible for all the excitement.

There is an overload of things you can do on a date

On most dates we raise our glasses, but for the rest the spirits stay quite low.

Not that having a drink together is a bad idea, but it could be so much better.

 

Practical 

If I learned 1 thing when I was studying psychology, it’s this: 

‘I bloody hate advice and information that is too general’

During my studies I overdosed on ‘fun’ facts, vague research that in the end turned out to be incorrect and 100 different psychologists who all had their own theory for the same phenomenon.

Because of that I will explain exactly and IN DETAIL which 7 steps to take in order to make your date a success. 

 

I give you this roadmap, so you’ll never again have to think about WHAT TO DO.

The only thing that’s left to do is this:

Execute this roadmap and buy enough condoms (because you’ll need them, Tinder Trooper)

Have fun with these tips bro!

#1 The mindset of an absolute KING

Like everything you want to achieve in life, success is mostly determined by your mindset.

One of the most influential people in the area of self-development, TONY malfack’n ROBBINS, told us the following:

It works like this: I can tell you where to go, what to say, how to behave and still you won’t get the same results as I do…

Why?

Because most men don’t have a specific goal that they’re aiming for. They’re just messing around.

I guarantee that the majority of the men who took the effort of searching for tips & tricks, won’t apply them….

There are two overarching excuses you will most definitely recognise:

The absolute don’ts:

 ‘I am afraid to ruin this date with this woman’

In this case you value this specific date way too much.

I know that some of you now think:

 “I haven’t banged for a year (or longer), my right arm could use a well-deserved vacation after all this work. I finally have a date with a hot chick, which is my only chance on having sex at this point. And you are here to tell me not to value this?”

Although this description sounds quite sad, for many men this is not so far from reality. Logically, you don’t want to ruin it because you’re as horny as Donald Trump on GHB.

However, thinking like this hurts your chances of success, because you’re afraid to fuck up this date. With this mindset you’ll most definitely not have fun at your date. And never forget: fun is the foundation of a successful date.

‘You’re not taking your own success seriously’

There is something that I find extremely frustrating…

Most men don’t take their success with women serious at all. They just  think they do.

It is NOT enough to browse the internet and read a couple of articles if you REALLY want to improve your skills with women. Usually men just keep wishing to be successful with women, a wish to be realised by some fairy godmother.

If you want to be successful with women, you have to consciously commit to work towards a CLEAR goal.  

If you keep procrastinating the consciously practising of these skills, you will never be successful. Not even if you have read a 1000 articles on dating.

Practical application:

Do you recognize the excuses mentioned above?

It is only human to have excuses. The majority of society can’t break away from them. When I coach at bootcamps, I always come across people who come up with these excuses…

Luckily, I know exactly how to fix this - and you’re here to take advantage of that.

Life is full of paradoxes and seemingly paradoxical principles.

On the one hand you want to take the progression in your life seriously, you want to aim for your goals in a systematic way and you want to reach your full potential.

On the other hand you do want to enjoy your life, have as much fun as possible, and take time to relax.

This smart combination of these two ingredients gives you the right winners mentality during dates:

You want to take your success and actions on a date fucking seriously, but at the same time you’ll have to laugh about the situation. This is the art of nottaking yourself too serious during the date itself.

Too much focus on progression? This makes your dates too serious. You’re only aimed at getting something (sex), which results in pushy behaviour and overthinking about what to say. It kills all the fun

Too much focus on fun? You’ll probably have a good time with her. But at the end of the date you’ll be left standing with your dick in your hands, instead of her thong in your hands. If you don’tpay attention to the steps you’ll have to undertake, you’ll never arrive at your destination.

The sweet spot: Of course having fun is the top priority during dates. Actually, it should be so much fun, that having sex seems the most logical continuation. I’m saying SEEMS, because YOU, as a man, are responsible for whether you two end up in bed together, or not. To make sure you do, all you have to do is follow these 7 steps.

#2 How to prevent rejection when asking her out on a date

There is no one magical way to get every girl to go on a date with you. But luckily, there are some close-to-magic principles to get close:

  • Don’t be the little boy askingly raising his hand

You are a doer, not an asker.

Your mindset should be that you yourself are the price. You shouldn’t want to sell yourself, you are a desired product. The only thing you want to do is to give her the chance to experience how awesome you are.

Don’t come up with messages like:

 “Would you maybe be interested, to go, with me…”

This implies you think you are not worthy of her time.

So don’t ask her on a date, just propose the idea. You offer the opportunity to meet you, this epic person, in real life.

  • Her: Ok what did you have in mind?
  • You: An epic meeting between two people.
  • Her: Ok sounds good. When would you like to do that?
  • You: Send me a message on whatsapp:

Bro-tip: Assume she wants to go on a date. You want to shape the conversation in such a way she doesn’t doubt whether she wants to go on a date with you, but how she could make it happen.

How is this done?

After your offer to go on a date, ask her a question like ‘Do you know where ‘x’ is? Let’s meet there’ or ‘I’m free on Monday or Tuesday, how about you?’

  • Strike like a Darth Vader

The moment you give the frame away is when you transform a potential fuckbuddy to a chatfriend. Right at is the moment all your chances are gone.

Don’t wait too long. The only reason you’re on Tinder is to meet women in real life. Constantly remind yourself of this.

  • When should you go for a date?

The little information she has about you, comes from your profile. She doesn’t know whether you are as interesting as your profile suggests.

If a girl is the one who sent the first message, or if she invests a lot in the conversation, I go for a date as quickly as I can. This means I use less than 20 messages.

The following 4 signals tell you whether a woman wants to go on a date with you:

  1. She quickly reacts to your messages.
  2. She uses a lot of emoticons/ memes/photos.
  3. She sends a lot of messages/adds to the conversation
  4. She asks a lot of questions and gives elaborate answers herself

This doesn’t mean she has to show all 4 signals. The more the better though.

If she does respond back, but doesn’t yet invest in the conversation, I wait a little longer, until about 20 to 30 messages.

Sometimes life just smiles at you

Sometimes there is a girl who randomly sends you a message, like: “Hello you” or “hey, did you have a nice weekend?” even though there was no reason whatsoever. If this happens, go for a date immediately. This is a super strong signal from her, meaning “I like you, ask me on a date.”

What if she barely reacts offer to go on a date? Try again after 15 to 20 messages. If it doesn’t happen after that, I finish it… There’s plenty of fish in the sea, especially for the skilled fisherman.

Bro-tip: Imagine you ask for a date, and she tells you “hmm I’m actually quite busy this week”. Don’t view this as a rejection like most guys do automatically. She might actually be studying for exams or whatever. Take it easy, just give it some extra time.

Ever asked a random person on the streets how they are doing? The answer you get will invariably always be “I’m doing fine, but I am quite busy”. Chicks are no different. Even if they are not busy, they want to give the impression they have a busy life. 

#3 How to turn your dating location into the perfect wingman

What is the best location to meet?

The most ideal situation would be to meet at your place during your first Tinder date. Your bed is close, which makes it a lot easier for sexy times.

In reality, the place to meet depends on how ‘on’ things are with this girl. If you’ve received the right signals however, you might want to meet at your place immediately.

Is she not yet totally into you? Meet in a public space, around other people, as close to your home as possible. This gives her the opportunity to check out if you’re the reliable guy you seem to be. Women have the strangest experiences during dates. There are a lot of weirdos on Tinder apparantly. It makes sense that she feels safer in a public space.

Be the tour guide

If you want to master dating, I recommend keeping as many variables the same as possible. When I started my journey to date mastery a couple of years ago, my plan looked like this:

  • I always met at a square close to my place.
  • From there, we went to a bar just around the corner.
  • After one hour, we moved to the next bar, which was next to my house.
  • From that bar, we went straight to my house.

If you just started scoring dates, I suggest you stick to this plan for the first couple of times.

It’s my grand date maximizer plan:

These are the 3 biggest advantages of following my plan:

#1 The reason I didn’t just meet at the bar, is that I wanted to arrive there together. We were two strangers who met at the square, but entered the bar ‘as a couple’.

Besides this, I’m immediately framing that this will be a dynamic date.

Why would you want that? Well let me explain my masterplan.

#2 We’re hopping from spot to spot, which makes it logical to arrive to my place in the end. We’re actually having a small ‘tour’ in my neighbourhood.

How do I introduce this idea?

I just tell her ‘let’s go to the next spot!’ She’ll get used to the fact that you’re taking the lead. Women appreciate men who can lead. A man who leaves all decisions to the woman has no balls, from her perspective. And if you’re a man that doesn’t have balls, how is she ever going to see you as a sexual partner?

Don’t go lie or be mysterious about where that ‘next spot’ is. If she asks, just give her an answer and you’ll see, 9 out of 10 times she’ll simply answer ‘okay’.

#3 Because I ALWAYS stick to this plan, I don’t need to spend my energy on how I am going to take her to my place. This way, I can completely focus upon building a connection with my date. The progression to sex is a natural evolution. This clears your mind so you can focus on having fun with the cute girl sitting next to you.

I can almost hear you think: ‘Isn’t that going to be super boring, doing the same thing every time?’

I always explain to my students that there is only 1 person responsible for having fun in your life… I think you already know…

THAT PERSON IS YOU

The responsibility of having a fun date is on your shoulders anyway. It doesn’t matter if you’re always in the same spot in that bar.

The real aim is to become king in dating. As soon as you have figured out the mechanisms & principles on the date itself, you can make every date successful.

Don’t make things unnecessarily hard for yourself in the beginning, stick to the plan bro.

#4 What to do to make sure she doesn’t cancel

Alright bro, if you’ve made it to step 4, that means that you have got a date! She agreed to your plan,  the time and location are set.

And damn, right before the date she cancels….

While you are making your bed, because you figure that this room will soon transform into a porn scene, you get this lousy message on your phone, in which she cancels.

Huh? But… we agreed to this?

I know, we men take appointments very seriously. Every guy wants to be ‘a man of his word’.

However, there is one thing that you have to understand. Women live in much more the moment. Their feelings play a way bigger role in their decision making process than it does with men.

To make sure she actually shows up for the date, there are two things you want to do:

#1 Keep the candle burning all through the night

If you fix the date on Sunday, and you decide to meet on Friday, you want to keep the fire burning in between. Consider it a campfire that you want to keep burning during the night. If you fall asleep and forget to toss a log on it sometimes, it will extinguish before dawn.

Most men make the mistake to stop sending messages once they’ve arranged their date. Because what’s the purpose, right?

The problem is that she’ll forget how much she liked you at the moment she agreed to the date. If you keep sending her a funny message every now and then, she’ll keep feeling that same emotion as she did when you and her planned the date.

Besides, she’ll feel like you only did this to get the date. You don’t want her to think you did this all only for sex, so keep showing interest throughout the week.

How?

It’s not necessary to write her a novel. An effective way is to make use of funny pictures or memes. It’s simple and takes little effort.

It is a value-giving message, that will make her smile. She’ll experience a positive emotion that is connected to you.

Meme’s like these do a great job. They’re cute and edgy at the same time.

#2 Make sure the landing on D-day is successful

This chick likes you enough to go on a date, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s in love. She might start to doubt whether she wants to go on a date with you, just before she leaves home. Maybe because she too might be a bit tense.

That’s why you need to send a message on the same day as the date. Something like this:

  • You: I can make 19:30 as well, so we can meet a little earlier
  • Her: I’ll be going out for dinner first
  • Her: So I don’t know if I can make that
  • You: Cool, we’ll stick to 20:00

The reason I tell her I can meet a little earlier is NOT because I necessarily want that.

The real reason is so I want to test whether she will show up tonight.

You don’t want to ask her: “You will be there right? Smile

This shows that you aren’t really sure of yourself, and you’re unsure she REALLY wants to meet you.

That’s why I test whether she will be there. This way she’ll be more likely to really show up.

Bro-tip: If she seems reluctant at the last moment, don’t react in your standard manly rational way.

Avoid messages like “But we had a date, right?”

Reluctance has an emotional cause, so here’s an opportunity to be different from all the other guys. Instead of reacting frustrated you act nicely and totally unreactive. Good chance she’ll relax and shows up anyway.  

#5 Be physical

It’s incredibly important to show your intentions during the date. Doing this, you’ll show her that you’re the type of guy who goes for what he wants.

That’s why you want to be physical from the start.

It feels fucking weird to kiss her if you haven’t touched her the first two hours of the date right? Let me tell you, she feels the same way.

Kissing is THE LEAST thing you want to do on EVERY date.It is more likely that she’ll see you as a little boy, than that she’ll view you as a man.

(If you don’t show her you’ve got balls, she’ll probably not believe you’ve actually got a pair) 

So let’s avoid this situation..

Here are some practical tips by Tinder King Matt, just for you:

Greeting.

We all know the following situation…

ME: “Hey bro, wassup!” *Sticks out hand for greeting*

BRO: “Hey mate, how’ya doin’?” *sticks out fist for a fistbumb*

 

Yeah. Awkward as FUCK.

This is the shit you want to avoid during the date. That’s why you always want to go for a hug when you first meet on your date.

Come walking with your arms wide open, loudly say “Heeeey [name]” and grant her a big hug as you see her..

Not because we like handing out free hugs, but because this gives a feeling of comfort and the first physical contact has been established.

Walking the streets.

Walk arm in arm on the streets. Don’t walk hand in hand… That’s cheesy and boyfriend/girlfriend-ish way too soon.

By walking arm in arm you take the lead, you show that you’re not afraid to be physical and she will feel safe, hanging on these strong gunshots that are your arms ;)

You can initiate this by saying “Arm [name]” and sticking out your own arm.

If you have difficulties doing this, go practise with your mom ;)

At the dating location.

Go sit next to each other at the lounge sofa or at the bar. These two positions are ideal to touch each other during the chatting.

You don’t want the ‘Berlin Wall’ a.k.a. the table in between the two of you.

Perfect moments to get physical are when you’re laughing with her, or teasing her. This makes it easy to lightly touch her shoulder with the back of your hand. 

Kissing.

This is an absolute must. Kissing is the minimum for a good date.

I’ve had dates with women telling me that they NEVER kissed at a first date… 30 minutes later she was licking my lips like Winnie the Pooh who’s found a jar of honey.

How did that happen?

Women act upon their feelings at any moment. If she feels attracted, there is nothing else she rather do but indulge.

When a woman feels attracted to you, there will ALWAYS be moments where you FEEL you can kiss her. Deep inside, you’ll know, but most dudes are too afraid to go for it

The windows are wide open at that moment, but they’ll close if you wait for too long.

Therefore you should make this rule for yourself: kiss her within 1,5 hours, NO MATTER WHAT

#6 What do you talk about during the date

If you create a sexual atmosphere LIKE A BOSS during your date, you’ll see that the date will end in hot & steamy sexy times 9/10.

This can be done both verbally and non-verbally.

Most men avoid almost-sexual-subjects because they’re too scared a chick doesn’t want to talk about that.

If you want to ‘make love’ to her, you will be just as successful using these tactics as Luke Skywalker without the Force.

Let me tell you something all pimps among us know already.

You do want to talk about sex with her. This makes her feel that you won’t judge her if she sleeps with you.

You want her to step into YOUR reality. A reality in which sex is perfectly normal and nothing but positive associations.

We’ve talked about how you get there in the former step.

Verbally, you want to emphasise your man-woman dynamic. You want to show your intentions.

This is how you do that… 

Flirty remarks that arouse the woman.

A very direct way to show your intentions is to tell her you’re horny straightaway… The problem is that this might be a little TOO much TOO soon.

You’ll come across as a horny teenager who doesn’t see her as a beautiful, interesting woman, but as a warm hole in which you can dump your eggs.. Not very romantic .. 

So do the following:

Make a flirty remark when you meet her.

“Wow, you really know how to dress up for a guy, you’re looking good..”

This immediately shows where you’re going. You’re there because you find her attractive, not because you want to become her new BFF.

ALWAYS keep the date exciting with this same technique.

We all know this situation.. You’re having a nice chat, but then you get stuck in super rational conversations on college, work and other boring topics…

You can feel that the excitement will disappear faster than the studyloans that have just been transferred to a students’ bank account…

You can hear me scream “Talk about sex Tinder Trooper, fast!” in the back of your head, but you have NO CLUE how you’re going to get there.

A very good way of creating an emotional spike in the conversation is the next trick:

In the middle of a story that she’s telling you, you say this..

“Hmm, you know, you’ve got beautiful eyes/a cute smile when you’re talking… Anyway, continue”

She will feel immensely excited for a moment, even though she is talking about RATIONAL stuff. Therefore she will link the excitement to you!

Cialdini’s #1 sales technique

You don’t want to start about your SM fetish already before you’ve had anything to drink… You need to unwrap things in a relaxed way.

So what you want to do is use the Foot in The Door Techniqueto naturally progressthe conversation towards sex.

This means that you’ll start with something small, something that is not directly related to sex. You could ask “What type of guy do you like?” or “How do you feel about nerdy men?

From this, you can continue towards questions like:

Where do you meet most men?” or “When was the last time you kissed passionately?”

Depending upon how she reacts on these questions, you can take a step further by discussing things like:

What is the most exciting place you ever had sex?” or “What is the strangest thing that happened to you when you were in bed with a guy?

She almost NEVER has these kind of intimate conversations. This will make it very exciting and special to her.

How to make her feel she knows you better than her own friends

Although there are some extremely rare exceptions, not all my date conversations are ONLY about sex..

But I ALWAYS do one thing so most of them do end with sex ;)

I show my sensitive side.

A woman wants a strong, though man who dares to show his vulnerable side. But only to her.

In between the teasing I tell some personal stories that we can connect on.

Stories from when I was a kid are a fantastic way to easily build a connection.

Therefore I tell her how little Matt used to be scared of the darkness if he had to go to sleep in his room in the attic.

The finishing touch is that I tell her how I FELT at the time (I know, this sounds like you’re at a Dr. Phil episode), because EMOTIONS make the story interesting… This will make her feel like she’s known you for years, after just an hour.

#7 Thanks to this, ending up in bed together will be self-evident

There are zillions of ways to take a woman home.

Still, most men make it look as effortless  doing morning exercises with a group of elderly on Sunday morning.

Luckily for you, my loyal Tinder Trooper, it will look like Lionel Messi doing kick-ups for you. It will be the most natural thing.

My standard way of doing this is so incredibly easy that most chicks find it surprisingly irresistible to end the date in my bed… 

My dates are dynamic (I feel like I am running marathons if I have a lot of dates during the week ;)) and therefore you know what I am going to say:

“Let’s go to the next spot”

She is used to accepting that you take the lead, because you’ve taken her from spot to spot, therefore she’ll go with you.

And this last next spot is your house.

PLEASE NOTE: You’re not trying to ‘trick’ her into going home with you. It’s important to ‘loosely take the lead’ so she won’t object. You want it to ‘just have happened’ as the continuation of the fun time you had during the date.

If you have successfully accomplished the former steps, this will feel natural and she will LOVE to go with you J

Love is in the air

Yeh Yeh

Following these tips will wear off your bed because of all the banging it has to endure.

Your neighbours will complain because of the deafening moaning of climaxing chicks.

Durex will see a sharp rise in its revenues (that is, if you practise safe sex) and will probably offer you a sponsorship.

As long as you know how to pick up girls on Tinder.

May the Tinder-force be with you!

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Does sex on the first date ruin your changes of a serious relationship?Dating younger womenThings to talk about on a dateOpening lines chat

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