A life long student of success psychology. Turned his passion into his work and writer of the book: The secret of Attraction.
What do your eyes tell about you? Do they tell what you are actually thinking or what you are trying to communicate? Or worse, did you ever start staring? It probably happened to you some times. You go out one night and see a beautiful woman. However, you don’t feel confident to look her in the eyes, because eyes tell everything. You quickly get back to the bar to order another beer.
Trust me, you are not the only guy to who this happened. A lot of guys (and even women) find it difficult to make eye contact. There can be different reasons for this. Maybe you’re just shy, maybe you just don’t know how to handle the situation. Maybe, deep inside, you feel you might show to much of your inner self when you make eye contact. Good news! After reading this article, you won’t have these problems anymore.
Flirting with eye contact rules: Right amount of dominance
There are a number of rules you have to know to achieve your goals with eye contact. You only have one chance to make a first impression. Of all non-verbal signals eye contact is the most important one. In your first moment of eye contact you can show you’re not an enemy by following these rules. You could even win a heart in the first few seconds. These techniques can not only be applied during a night out, but anytime anywhere. And that’s exactly my advice.
Firstly, it is important to know you should never ever be the one that breaks eye contact first. It might feel strange or awkward, but it’s a way of showing how comfortable you are with yourself, the other and the situation. You communicate dominance, and that’s not something to be ashamed of. You’re just there, that’s it. Teach yourself to never be the one that looks away first. After a while it becomes a habit and you’ll find the right balance.
Flirting with eye contact rules: acknowledge the other
While you establish eye contact, it’s time for step two. Let the other know you acknowledge her or him. You do this through your body language. For example by giving a smile or by quickly raising and lowering your eyebrows. This makes the static ‘looking at you’ of the other change. A dimension of interaction has been added.
Flirting with eye contact rules: focus on one eye
This next step might sound strange, but it works. When you make eye contact try to focus on just one eye. Why? Because there is a difference between the left and right brain. Left is the center for emotions and right for logic.
Do you feel quite certain and think you can convince someone with a good conversation, then stare into the right eye. If you just want to flirt, go for the more emotional left eye. This is very powerful. Try it out!
Tips for flirting with eye contact
Now the rules are clear, you need to apply them in real life situations. Mirrors are perfect for practice. You can try to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and see how different ways of looking make you feel. Note, don’t wait until your mirror-image breaks eye-contact. That might take a while ;)
Next, pay attention to your posture. Stand upright, relax your shoulders and keep breathing. Fear is a factor that others instantly feel. Try to eliminate this in the most subtle way. If you find someone with who you’d like to make eye contact, first make up your mind what you are trying to achieve with this person.
Flirting with a critical mind
Never forget you don’t want to break eye contact first, that’s up to the other. Acknowledge her. Smile, raise your glass or wink and keep eye contact. Starting a conversation is a logical next step.
You made the right first impression. You’ve shown your interest and weren’t ashamed of that. Not only look at her with an admiring impression, but also that you approve of her. Changes are she might want to get to know more about you. Just say the first thing that comes to mind after eye flirting. This is just the beginning so enjoy it!
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