A life long student of success psychology. Turned his passion into his work and writer of the book: The secret of Attraction.
Picking up a guy is easy. But how do I keep him?
You made eye contact with me. You started talking, had a drink together and appeared to have lots in common. He asks your phone and at the end of the evening he kissed you. Magic! This lead to a date and another one and another one. You have a wonderful time, and so does he – you think. But after a while you hear less and less of him and eventually he disappears of the radar. Something you recognize?
In that case, you should definitely read this blog post because I'm going to give you five tips on how you can prevent this from ever happening again. How do get a guy that stays around?
Firstly, it is a fact that many women just want something they can not get. The men who show an interest in you, are often not what you want. Until you finally come across someone who you fancy. You help him to seduce you and what happens next, is actually very funny.
Get and keep the guy: don't be possessive
You might have heard it before and you think you're not clingy, but believe me: most women are. It is the most important rule of dating, the golden rule: do not be too clingy (read: needy). By that I mean: let him pursue you. Back from the caveman days men were hunters, and they still are. What I mean is, you must give a guy space to follow his evolutionary programming.
You don't have to necessarily playing hard to get because you want to be approachable and let him know you're interested. Still, you always have to leave space for the guy to take the next step. That's not only during the pickup. Doesn't he ask for your number? Then don't ask for his nor hint 'oh do you have Facebook? ". He doesn't asks for any contact information? Then he's just not interested or simply a wush and that is something you have to accept.
Did you have a date and you're looking forward to the next one? Do you want to let him to know? Send nothing. Wait until he takes initiative. Nothing scares a man more than a woman who is too eager and too available.
Get and keep the guy: don't play it too cool
As I just said, don't have to play hard to get. If you are open to a relationship you do not have to hide it. Only you have to remember that a flirting and dating is a game, a dance some say, and you have to know what it takes to make a guy dance (even though that may sounds very harsh). If you appear too uninterested, then you're giving the wrong signal as well.
Men are much less attentive than us women. Most of the signals they simply do not get. So if you always resists his attempts to flirt or meet up you give him the feeling he is being rejected.
So make sure that you answer every message from him, that if you really have something funny to share you send him a message. That you communicate at least as much as he does and maybe a little more and agree when he asks you to go for a drink regularly.
Get and keep the guy: let him start about 'your future'
By this I mean that while you are still getting to know a guy you don't talk about kids, weddings or pets. Simply because you have not addressed the issue yet. You live in the 'here and now' and present moment you have a cool guy whom you only just met. Sure once you get to a certain age you're more interested in something serious and you want to know if a guy has the same vision on life, but not when you've just met.
In the beginning you'll be talking about the same interests, fun places you have visited, your passions, ambitions and things want to do in life. If he is thinking about starting a family, then of course talk about, but do not be too eager. You don't want to put off a guy early on by bringing up these topics yourself.
Get and keep the guy: make clever use of his hunter instinct
Men are hunters: they enjoy the hunt. When a guy approaches you in a bar then you are actually already 50% in. He would never approach if he didn't find you attractive. Be there always aware! So never think: "Ah will he like me?" Because when he spends the entire evening talking to you and then asks your number, he will call you.”
In the beginning men are out to have sex. But that's not all. He is out to have great sex with a woman who is a real conquest. And remains a conquest! The game of letting him wait for sex is one you can play, but once you make it into a 'transaction' (commitment for sex) then you're making sex into a currency.
Wat you should do is choose your own course of action. Do you want to sleep with him on the first night, do it. Do you want to wait awhile, do that. As long as there something left to hunt for. I said before that every man prefers amazing sex over "vanilla sex" (mediocre sex). What makes the difference? The degree to which you surrender! So make it clear that your dedication is something that is not to be taken for granted..!
It has to be earned! Not by doing things for you (it's not a transaction). But by showing that he's a real guy. By showing he is willing and able to connect with you on an emotional level. Only then will you allow yourself to be involved emotionally as well He has to earn it ... Sex then becomes a way to strengthen the bond you have with someone, stronger and more passionate.
Get and keep the guy: don't shout it from the rooftops
Okay, admittedly, this is a tricky one. I'm a woman myself and I know what I do when I'm really really into someone. I think almost all the time about this person and preferably I would like to talk all day about this person as well. The whole world should know that I've finally found someone with whom I find a real connection. But trust me, it scares men away big time.
Suppose you aks you now lover to come with you to a party. Your friends will have heard numerous stories about him and there is always someone who says, 'oh I've heard so much about you. "
Unless you have entered into an exclusive relationship, this is something that chases men away as well. So take it slow. A man does not want to meet your friends too quickly. And he probably would rather never meet your parents. So make sure to wait with it.
Hanging out with friends is enjoyable. He likes you and your friends are your friends for a reason, so they probably are like you or you would have nothing in common with you. Chances are he will also find them fun and interesterting. Besideds there is always alcohol to break the ice. The parents are a different story. Ask him for your parents and start not on there, until he starts talking about his parents.
These were some tips on how you can keep a guy and make him love you forever. Of course it does not always work this way. There has to be a strong chemistry for it to work in the long run. These tips do help to maximize your chances of it getting serious. And if not, then it's his loss ;-).
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