A life long student of success psychology. Turned his passion into his work and writer of the book: The secret of Attraction.
The art of going out alone
Let’s face it. Going out alone is something most people are scared of. That’s why it is some incredibly awesome if you DO go out alone. You’re forced to go outside your comfort zone and trust on self-entertainment.
As a coach and also as a pick-up master you should master going out alone. You can’t let the availability of your friends determine whether you go out or not, right?
Here you’ll find the best tips that I found from my own experience that will help you when you go out alone.
Going out alone tip 1: Nobody cares!
Going out alone helps you to majorly improve your skills and expand your comfort zone. You might think it’s awkward to be in a club or bar alone, but trust me: Nobody cares! Everyone is far to busy minding their own business to pay attention to you.
When you go out alone you might feel like people are looking at you. But it’s all in your head. Everyone is busy thinking how people see them and how they come across. Why wouldn’t you be the exception? So literally say this out out to yourself: Everybody is to busy thinking how they look, I am going to have fun. Nobody gives a fuck!
Going out alone tip 2: Make new friends
Often times when I go out by meself, I first start talking to guys talk to the women later. The difference isn’t that big, you say something fun, ask something, comment on beer/soccer/women. This gives you and the people surrounding you a feeling you belong in a group.
Start talking to people when you’re in line to go in the club. I had evening where I was already having an amazing time standing in line having fun with the people around me. Don’t instantly stick to your new found buddies, you’ll find them later. Give a high five and walk along. They help your state and who knows, they might wing you later on.
Going out alone tip 3: Open asap!
Open asap! I can’t stress this enough guys. This is what I teach guys on bootcamp. When you walk into the venue, high five the first guy or girl you see. Simple? Yes. But so important! Why? Because you already lower the barrier for your next approach.
You show the people in the bar or club that you are fun and social. If you don’t do that, your impulse will be to instantly walk to the bar or some corner. Don’t do that, be different!
Going out alone tip 4: Humor
Ok, of course girls will ask you where your friends are. You might just as well be not to serious about this. Just tell them your friends are playing Diablo 3 inside. When she asks you what the hell Diablo 3 is, just ask her if she likes Nutella. Why so serious?
An alternative: Tell them all your friends are in the hospital with AIDS. What? I think it’s funny.
In the end, most girls will find it awesome that you do this all by yourself. No woman would ever do it. And if you do find one, she’s probably DTF (down to fuck).
Going out alone tip 5: The instant wingman technique
The big disadvantage of going out alone is the absence of a wingman. Groups of women are harder to isolate. It happens often that I see some guy talking to a girl but her annoying girlfriend is still there.
Sometimes you’re in bad luck and don’t like the girl, but sometimes she’s just as hot. Approaching her is the best you can do. Even if your interaction is not that good, it’s relatively easy to kiss her if her girlfriend and your anonymous wingman are kissing as well. She wants a fun night as well right?
Going out alone tip 6: Goals
If you go out alone, it might happen that you quit quite quickly. Nobody’s there to up your state. If your state remains low, the risk of quiting is huge. What helps is setting goals for the night.
I propose you commit to the following: You can’t go home before you’ve done 10 approaches. Quitting after 5 approaches is like warming up to go to the gym, and after your warm-up go sit in front of the television.
After 5 approaches, try opening girls with more intent. I mean saying things like:
‘I saw you looked at me. I came over to tell you I like you’.
‘Hey you! Your face is awesome. What’s your name?’
Why going out alone is awesome
Disadvantage of going out alone is you just don’t get the feedback that helps you improve. Sometimes you get it, but you don’t notice. It’s hard, for everybody, to see your own blind spots. If you feel like you’re not improving rapidly enough, come do a bootcamp or workshop.
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