Specialized in Structured Game. Through his dedication he changed from a lovable nerd to a man that knows how to attract the ladies with a snap of his fingers.
Maybe you are asking yourself when to kiss her or how to do it. Maybe you aren’t, but it is always a good question to ask yourself, so just keep on reading! ;)
Maybe you just want kissing tips to gain amazing kissing skills, so not a single woman will leave your lips alone. You are going to learn it all in this article.
I have committed myself completely to presenting you with the most complete and thorough article ever on the subject. If you don’t read it here, you won’t read it anywhere ;)
The right moment to kiss
Well yeah, as a dating coach, I am pretty good at kissing at the moment, but it hasn’t always been like that... There once was a time when the only thing keeping my lips wet was my lip balm.
I remember my first girlfriend. She was a friend of a friend. After chatting for a long time, we met up. I was going to teach her how to ride a skateboard that afternoon.
I will spare you the entire story (even though it’s full of hilarious moments), but we end up at her parents’ home in her bedroom. I take a seat on the couch but unfortunately, she takes a seat opposite me instead of next to me... Damn!
We talk for an hour, and I keep looking for the right clues and the right moment, but I don’t see an option at all (or rather, I just didn’t have the slightest idea how to go about things).
After going downstairs to eat some French fries with her dad we go back upstairs. This time, she does sit next to me on the couch (hurray!).
And there comes the silence... A horrible silence… We listen to a CD of her favourite band and we do not say a word to each other... FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR...
Slowly, over the course of that awfully long period of time, we inch closer and closer to each other until finally, for ten whole minutes, our mouths nearly touch.
And then, eventually it happens... The long awaited moment. We kiss... And it is amazing!
The right moment to kiss?
That was probably an hour and a half before that. Fortunately, she was just as shy and inexperienced, so I got away with it.
We were very lucky that she put the CD on repeat, or else she would have had to stand up and we would have had to start all over again ;)
If you’re not a natural when it comes to women, the right moment to kiss is probably always BEFORE you actually tried to.
Why earlier? And when exactly? We are going to cover that in more detail now.
When to kiss
So right now, I am going to answer your question on when to kiss her. How do you know?
You probably know what I’m talking about: you’re at a bar talking to a nice girl or you are on a date, and the longer you talk to her the more you start wondering... Can I kiss her? Can I do it right now?
It keeps taking longer and longer, and eventually you end up not kissing her at all. Ouch! Or you try to steal a kiss at the end of the night or the date, but she turns her cheek. Even more painful.
The biggest mistake that a lot of men make is that they talk to a woman for a very long time without ever even touching her, and then going in for the kiss all of a sudden.
It’s not strange that you end up asking yourself whether or not you can kiss her. You haven’t even done anything to find out whether or not she is ready for it ;) By the way, the odds are big that she doesn’t even want to kiss you because you didn’t even warm her up.
You can compare it with not preheating an oven. It seems easier and faster, but in the end your pizza will taste a lot worse. She doesn’t want to be offered a semi-defrosted pizza, so turn up the heat first!
How long it takes before you can kiss heavily depends on the specific situation. This is different for every woman and every interaction. Sometimes you can already go for it after 5 minutes (and sometimes even immediately!)
For example, here you can see Daan kiss 4 women really fast:
However, there are a few rules of thumb:
- In a club, you don’t want to wait longer than an hour and a half. If you talk to her for two hours or longer and you get her number, but you DON’T kiss her, the chance she will want to meet you again will be a lot smaller. That’s because you haven’t shown any balls and you probably didn’t create enough attraction.
- During a first date, no matter if you meet her for the first time or you met her before at a bar, you want to kiss her either way. Do not wait for a second or third date. Again, she needs to feel attraction to remain interested in you. Kissing is a very good way to achieve that. Also, NEVER wait for the moment you leave before kissing her.
Now I am going to explain how to kiss her.
How to kiss a woman
As a man, you always want to take the lead. That is very attractive to women. You don’t want to wait for signals all the time, you want to take steps continually.
Start with your goal in mind: You want to kiss her (or more).
Then think about what the steps are to get there...
As a guy, when you are attracted to a woman, you would like to kiss her all the time. For women, that does not work that way. They have to be a lot more warmed up.
You do that by building up the physical contact slowly. First, you touch her shoulders sometime when you talk to her, you slowly build on that by touching her back, grabbing her hands or dancing with her a little.
You start out doing it in a friendly way, and it becomes a little more sexual over time.
By doing that you communicate that you are not that harmless, nice friend to talk with, but that there is a chance that she will end up in bed with you. This sounds exciting, and it is, or at least it should be.
You in the Friendzone or her in the Dangerzone... it's up to you!
You do have to pay attention to whether she feels comfortable with the way you touch her or not.
By touching people more consistently, anyone you want, you make sure that you feel more comfortable with touching other people. This is important, because it is very hard to get people to feel comfortable with your touch when you are not even comfortable with it yourself.
After that, you get closer to her when you talk and you start talking more slowly with a lower voice.
Everyone has a personal space that only special people are allowed to step into. The closer you are allowed to get to her, the more attracted she feels to you.
Your eye contact will also become stronger when the moment you can kiss her gets closer. When she keeps looking into your eyes with a sort of waiting expression, you know you can kiss her.
When her pupils dilate, that is another indication she is turned on. If you want to increase the tension even further, look at her left eye for a long time, then redirect your gaze towards her right eye, and then towards her mouth.
Kissing will almost become unavoidable. It is the logical next step!
Take the lead yourself and get a bit more physical over time. When you notice that she is comfortable with what you are doing, take it a step further.
Do you notice that she does not really react to you being so physical, or even turns away from you a little bit, you take a small step back and build it up again slowly.
Daan explains it once again here, and shows you how to use taking the lead and dominance to kiss a woman within 30 seconds:
Kissing on a date or during the day
When on a date or during daytime you often have less opportunities to make it physical right away. You will have to use your manly leadership.
A good way to kiss her is when you are walking. You are already more physical and it is easier to tease her a little and to touch her. (Make sure that, when on a date, you create walking situations! It makes the date a lot more dynamic and fun either way)
I am going to share one of my favourite methods to kiss her with you. This method is nice and risque, and still has a cool romantic surprise element.
Imagine, you are an hour into your date and you decide to take a walk. First, grab her hand firmly. Observe how she holds it. Does she hold it firmly too? Squeeze a little and see if she squeezes back.
Does that seem to go well? After five minutes, suddenly stop walking. Step in front of her slowly, look her in the eyes and go in for the kiss. This is real, masculine leadership. It also has a very romantic effect.
Another method when you are holding her hand is to sit down on a bench somewhere outside. Again, grab her hand (doing this sitting down is a little more intimate than while walking).
Turn towards her, look her in the eyes and go for it slowly.
Daan will show you how to kiss her in 6 steps in the following video. Nice detail, in the video he shows you how he gets it done within a few minutes of meeting for the first time.
How to kiss
Before you kiss her, there are a couple of things you will want to take into account to be sure of an amazing experience for the both of you.
Tip 1. Be sure to have neutral breath
It is obvious that you can’t become a good kisser with bad breath.
How do you know what your breath smells like? Lick your hand and smell it. Or fold them into a bowl, keep it in front of your nose and mouth, and then breathe out. Now you smell what others smell in your personal space.
Make sure you have clean teeth and a clean mouth. Floss your teeth and scrape your tongue. Use chewing gum, but not so much you start smelling like it.
Also, don’t eat anything with a strong smell like garlic unless your date also eats it.
Tip 2. Make sure that you don’t “shed”
Make your lips a little wet beforehand. This will make it more pleasant for your partner to kiss you.
Women need to get their mouths lipgloss free, so after kissing the partner doesn’t wear all the lipgloss. If that ends up going wrong, you’ll at least have a good excuse to go to the toilets together ;)
Tip 3. Comfortable kissing position
Make sure you are in a comfortable position when kissing. You should stand in a comfortable way and your head should be at the same angle and in the opposite position of your partner’s.
Tip 4. Start off tenderly and follow your feelings
The first contact is careful. Follow your feelings. For example, kiss her on her lower lip first. Then, after some time, touch your partner’s lips lightly with your tongue.
If she opens her lips, you play with your tongue. You go in softly, until your lips touch again.
Keep it interesting by using different moves. Bite her lip softly, turn your tongue in one direction and then in the other one. After that, kiss her in her neck softly. Tip 5. No matter how exciting it gets, stay relaxed
Learn to relax while kissing. A relaxed mouth makes for a much more pleasant kissing experience than if your jaws and muscles are all tense.
You don’t have to rush anything. Enjoy it so she’ll relax too.
Look at how two women kiss each other, they are very good at this:
Tip 6. Don’t stick
Be sure to keep your head, and be the first one to stop. Take her somewhere else to go on or make sure that you see each other again later on. It’s best to stop at your peak, so she will keep on thinking about how great that kiss was for a long time.
When you start getting cramps in your jaw you went on for too long (or you have been drugged).
How to kiss well
When is someone a lousy kisser? Most women will give answers like “Monotone, boring!”, “Just like a laundry machine!”, “Ew, too much tongue”, “I don’t know, too static or something” or “I just didn’t feel any passion”.
I’m going to explain how to be a good kisser now. How to kiss like a pro!
Even if you already think you are in the “good kisser” category, I always notice that everyone can learn something new when it comes to (French) kissing.
Below are a few powerful tips that will help you make each kiss more intense, more enjoyable and more seductive.
Apart from tip #1, they are not technical but more related to your mindset. This will always help you, even if you already receive compliments about your kissing.
Kissing tip #1: don’t stick in your (entire) tongue right away
This kissing tip is very specific but also very necessary! It’s the most common mistake by both men and women. Trying to go on a journey of discovery with your tongue too soon. Don’t do that!
Before trying to add the tongue into the mix, wait until you feel she opened her mouth a bit further. It’s also wise to touch her lips with the tip of your tongue first, while you are still kissing softly.
It’s not until you notice a reaction, her tongue touching your lips, that it’s recommended to proceed with your tongue. Everything can take time, especially a good (French) kiss.
Kissing tip #2: pay attention to her breathing
During kissing, breathing is very important. Her breathing indicates the intensity she wants to be kissed with (also see the tip below).
When you are kissing more intensely, breathing in happens through the nose more and more on its own. It’s best when your breathing ends up being perfectly in sync.
It’s a nice signal of her committing to the kissing game when she breathes in just before the kiss. If she would breathe out slightly, that could indicate she is a little bored. Of course, that would have to follow from other body language as well, but is definitely a sign.
However, a fast inhalation is a clear sign of arousal – she is missing oxygen and is forcing it in right in time for the kiss.
Her breath can tell you a lot about her feelings and how much she surrenders to you.
A small clip as an example:
Kissing tip #3: feel the intensity
This might sound a little vague, but feeling the intensity of her feelings is absolutely essential. Think of two situations:
- A woman wants you to kiss her softly to get to know her that way and you go for it all the way, or
- A woman wants you to kiss her like your life depends on it and you give her little kisses as if you are trying to wake Sleeping Beauty from her 100 year sleep.
None of these two examples will gain you any kissing chemistry. Feeling what intensity she wants from you and projecting the desire you feel are extremely important for a good kiss.
Therefore, begin by using kissing tip #2. Her body language indicates how she wants it and how she doesn’t – what she likes most.
Her breathing gives you important leads on how strong her feelings for you are at that moment. Examples of other non-verbal signals are when she brings her body towards you, or when she throws her arms around you completely.
Both of these signals tell you that she wants be kissed more intensely. Her feelings for you have a certain intensity, and you can find out how big that intensity is by looking at her body.
From the creators of kissing tip #2, another small clip as an example:
Kissing tip #4: the art of stopping
Feeling when you should stop makes all the difference. A kiss that goes on for too long has a negative effect on your being together.
Always use the rule that you stop kissing her first. By doing that, you show that you are in control of yourself, and therefore also of her.
Furthermore, you will let her long for more. Just like a short kiss will create more desire in her than a long kiss right away.
Her body will show you when it’s time for you to end the kiss – but it’s better to not let it get that far. Make it a habit to just stop kissing abruptly.
That way you will stay unpredictable and she will worship you for it. Think about it, what would she rather tell her friends? An exciting story with a cliff-hanger about a mysterious man or an integral summary of the adventures of Average Al?
Kissing tip #5: look at others
In the psychology of success, we use a method that is called modelling.
When doing this, you look for a successful role model, and you look at what he does and when he does it.
Try to apply it yourself. Look at people on the street, look at actors in movies, look at Youtube videos; look at how others do it and learn from the best ones!
Kissing tip #6: kissing is art
You are going to love tip 6 the most. To become a kissing master, you need to practice a lot. However, it’s not necessarily true that people who kiss more often also kiss better.
Of course, you do need to experiment.
How many different women you kiss, how many different situations and places you kiss in, and how much you experiment, it all determines whether or not you can turn kissing into an art.
From kissing to sex
A lot of the times, kissing is the start of something much bigger. How do you cross the bridge between kissing and sex?
If you apply the methods detailed below, kissing will become your secret weapon to give women the pleasure they would like.
Women will want to share the bed with you sooner and even tell their friends about your kissing skills.
It is possible, even by only kissing her, to turn on a woman so much that she is just yearning to be alone with you and can’t get enough of you.
The following tips will make sure you are able to cross the bridge without running into any problems.
Tip # 1: Knowing what you are doing
This sounds weird. Surely you know why you are kissing her? Because you think it’s exciting and because she (hopefully) likes it. Let me rephrase.
Do you know what kissing is? Right! It’s a form of FOREPLAY.
The most important rule of foreplay is that you make her LONG FOR MORE.
You don’t want to go right towards your goal, you want to keep making detours. If you want to take her home later, don’t be the guy who’s totally eating her face in the club.
Tip # 2: Be unpredictable
Sometimes, be the one to pull his head away first. Then bite her on her lip suddenly. One moment give her an intense French kiss, the next moment take a sip of your drink.
Maybe you keep some of the drink in your mouth while kissing her the next time.
You can also whisper in her ear what you want her to do. Tell her what you enjoy and let her know when she does it well.
‘Oh, you have really soft lips. Yes, this is good, kiss me in my neck. More. Stop.’
Tip # 3: Relax your lips
If you are nervous, you show her that you don’t have yourself under control. You are either nervous or too horny. Furthermore, it doesn’t feel good when you stiffen your mouth.
When you are relaxed, it feels soft.
The next time you kiss or French kiss a woman, try to relax your lips and tongue even more than you normally do.
Pay attention to the way she reacts to it. The odds are high that she gets even more into it than before!
Tip # 4: Kiss her where it has impact
Discover her erogenous zones. Does she like it when you kiss her in her neck? When you dominantly grab hold of her?
Does she enjoy it when you stroke her back? (Oh yes, you don’t only kiss with your mouth!)
What happens when you suck on her earlobes a little?
Or when you kiss the inside of her elbows.
Pay close attention to the signals she gives when you kiss her. Do her hands tremble? Does she start to breathe more quickly? Does she hold on to you more tightly?
Save everything in your erogenous memory. Every woman is unique. Some women don’t like kissing at all (or so I have heard, I have never met a woman like that).
Other women almost spontaneously climax if you touch them the right way.
Go and experiment, but do remember that kissing is an art and not science. You are an artist. That’s why you should enjoy every brush stroke you place on her blank canvas :).
Good luck with these kissing tips!
Related articles:7 simple steps to success on your Tinder dateApproaching womenGoing out alone and picking up womenKissing tips for beginners